


I (don't) Wanna Talk About Sex

by JFACHardyzRKO



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asexuality, Bottom!Sam, It's part of the misunderstandings, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Misunderstandings, None of that happens, ace!sam, mentions of dub con, top!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 14:38:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5543675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JFACHardyzRKO/pseuds/JFACHardyzRKO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam comes out as asexual to Dean at a very inopportune time. Misunderstandings ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I (don't) Wanna Talk About Sex

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! With Wincest! Woooo
> 
> A bit of a disclaimer: everyone experiences things differently and aces are no different. Sam's particular thoughts and feelings are based off of myself, as I am on the ace spectrum. This fic in no way represents all aces or their partners, nor is this an advisable way to come out.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Mmm Sammy, g-god yes," Dean panted from behind his brother, cock pushing deep into the warmth of his ass. 

Dean grinded his hips once he was fully in before slowly dragging himself out, his hands running up and down Sam's smooth sides. He was pulling out all of the stops, trying to coax a noise from Sam's reluctant lips. His brother was always silent when they fucked, something that hadn't bothered Dean at first. Now though, he hates it. He knows what he's doing now, just where to touch and how to fuck to have his brother shooting his load in less than 10 minutes if need be.

But he never makes a sound. He never so much as whimpers while Dean's inside of him, or while Sam's dick is in Dean's mouth or hand. And while Dean used to be okay with that, he craves his brother's voice now.

Since Hell, since spending 40 years without hearing it, Dean needs to know Sam is ok, right there with him, where he should be. But Sam, dammit, he just won't make a sound. 

"Come on, baby boy. Wanna hear you," Dean said, out of breath, leaning down to whisper filth in Sam's ear. "Gonna come on your big brother's cock? Hm? Want me to fill your greedy little ass up, Sam? Want to-"

"Stop, Dean, god please."

Dean wasn't sure he heard right but he stopped everything nonetheless.

"What did you say, Sammy?"

Sam took a deep breath and raised his head from the pillow before speaking. "Stop, Dean, I wanna stop."

Dean's mind raced, barely comprehending the sentence as he did as he was told. He carefully pulled out of Sam and hurried off of the bed, grabbing boxers to cover himself up.

"W-what's wrong? What happened? Did I...did I hurt you?"

Dean saw Sam sigh, saw the way his shoulders tensed and the sweat that dropped down his neck.

"No, Dean, god no, I just..."

"You just..," Dean repeated, eyes wide and terrified as he waited for Sam to explain. "Sam, look at me. You just what?"

Sam's head turned, then, and Dean could see why his brother had been avoiding eye contact. His eyes were red and puffy and tears streaked his flushed cheeks. 

"Jesus christ, Sammy," Dean said, rushing over to Sam, sitting on the edge of the bed and running shaky fingers through his hair. "What is it? What did I do wrong?"

Sam turned over fully, finally laying on his back and throwing his head back onto the pillow.

"Nothing, you didn't do anything wrong," he said. But Dean could see. He could tell something was very wrong.

Sam kicked the blankets until his hips were covered, new tears running down his face. His body was shaking now, giving into the crying and letting it control his movements.

"Sam. Something is wrong, dammit. Tell me!" Dean's voice was deep and raspy from him trying to hold back his own tears. Seeing Sam hurt and crying was always his biggest weakness.

"I...I'm so sorry, De," Sam whispered, shutting his eyes and grabbing his brother's forearm. "I-I just wa-was afraid," he sobbed out, "that y-you'd leave me."

"No Sammy, no. What-why would I do that? I'd never." Dean was more confused than upset, not understanding what was going on in his brother's head. "Sam, I don't understand."

Opening his eyes again, Sam took a deep, shuddering breath, "I don't...sex...it's not...I don't want it."

The air in Dean's lungs left his body all at once, making him feel like he was going to pass out or puke, he wasn't sure. He tore his arm from Sam's grasp and got up from the bed.

"What d'you mean you don't want sex? I didn't...we have sex! You never say no. I don't..."

"There's a word," Sam started, still crying but he was more in control, "that I found when I was researching once. Asexual. It-it describes people who don't feel sexual attraction....and I...don't."

"Wait you're saying you have never wanted to have sex with me? That I...made you-"

"No! Dean no, it's not like that," Sam rushed out, sitting up quickly and trying to reassure his brother. "It's just. I don't look at someone and think of sex with them."

"We've had sex, Sam. I've...we've done things and this whole time you just, what? Let me use you? Let me..."

"Dean stop. Don't think like that. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do...that...to me. That's not what I'm trying to tell you."

"Then what are you trying to tell me?! Huh, Sam? Cause I have to say, it sounds a hell of a lot like you never wanted this and you're trying to get out of it now."

"Jesus Christ, Dean! Are you fucking serious?! I'm trying to tell you that I'm ace, that I don't feel sexually attracted to people. NOT that I don't want to be with you. I love you, asshole." Sam's voice was steadier now, the shakiness leaving to make way for annoyance.

"You don't find me...or- or anyone attractive. You didn't want what I did to you...all these months...", Dean trailed off, lump rising in his throat as he thought about all the things they had done.

"Fuck, Dean. Come on. You didn't fucking rape me, man. Stop thinking like that."

"YOU DIDN'T WANT IT, SAM! That's the goddamn definition!" Dean's hands were in the air, making his point and showing his exasperation all at once.

"I WANTED to have sex with you, Dean! Not because I wanted sex, but because it makes you happy. Just because I don't go seeking sex out, doesn't mean I hate it. An orgasm is an orgasm."

"I don't- this all just doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't you tell me sooner? Why tell me now at all?"

Sam shrugged. "The things you were saying...I wasn't into it. It...kind of ruined the mood for me."

"I say shit like that all the time."

"Yeah and it didn't bother me until now. I don't know, Dean, I don't control this stuff. It feel it and act accordingly."

"Ok fine. So, why didn't you tell me sooner," Dean asked, staring at Sam's face for any hint of a lie.

"You would have left me," Sam said matter of factly.

"What? No. No I wouldn't have."

"You're going to now. You're dressed, just need your boots and you can run out that door."

Dean hadn't even realized he'd gotten dressed. He must have done it reflexively while listening to Sam talk.

"I'm not leaving, Sammy. I just want to understand. This makes no sense to me."

"Let me...can I show you some stuff," Sam asked quietly, pointing to his laptop.

"Yeah, go ahead."

| |

"So you, you uh...put a lot of thought into this, huh," Dean asked after spending the better part of an hour going through all of Sam's resources.

They have moved to the little table in the room with Sam's laptop, Sam having gotten dressed in sweatpants and a tee shirt before sitting down and showing Dean all he found.

Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. I wanted to know more about who I am, ya know?"

"You always were a nerd, Sammy."

"Jerk," Sam said, reaching over the back of the chair to punch his brother.

"Bitch...," Dean responded automatically. But the way his voice trailed off worried Sam.

"You don't have to treat me any differently, Dean."

"I'm not!"

Dean turned and walked back to their bed, sitting down and staring at the floor.

Sam sighed. "You still feel guilty, don't you?"

There was a long, tense pause before Dean answered, "....you didn't want it, Sammy," in such a small voice that Sam thought Dean may have been on the verge of tears.

"Dean," Sam said, walking over to his brother, "if I really didn't want it, I could have kicked your ass." He laid a warm hand on Dean's back and began rubbing comforting circles into the tense muscles.

Dean sniffled before chuckling. "This isn't funny, Sam," came his response, his voice still weak and shaking. "I hurt you."

"You never once hurt me, De. Look at me."

Dean's eyes peered over at his brother's face and saw the sincerity and love behind the words.

"I _wanted_ to make you happy. I _wanted_ to do it by making you feel good. You love sex, Dean. It just so happens that I'm kinda neutral towards it."

"You said you didn't want it. Earlier, you said..."

"My word choice may have been off. I didn't want it _then_."

"And all of those other times?"

Sam shrugged. "I like orgasms, man."

"But, with me-"

"I like orgasms with you too, Dean. Sex is just one way to get them. When I really wasn't in the mood, I told you no," Sam said, desperately trying to get his brother to understand.

"Ok but if you don't...look at me and think about having sex with me...I mean. How do you even get hard," Dean asked in a whisper, almost shy to talk about sex for the first time that he could remember.

Sighing, Sam responded, "The foreplay, it's nice, ya know? It feels good. Being touched still feels good even if it's not something I crave. And the actual sex _feels_ good, great even."

Dean took a deep breath and turned to face his brother, both still on the bed. "So you...like the feeling of sex, you just don't...feel the urge when you see someone?"

Sam looked at Dean and smiled. It had taken him years to come to terms with his feelings, not craving sex like his always-horny big brother, and months after learning about asexuality to understand that what he felt was ok and valid. And here Dean was, mere hours after learning about it, picking up on the jist of it.

"Yeah, Dean. That's basically it. I look at people like I look at Christmas lights; they're beautiful but I don't get an urge to fuck them."

Finally Dean laughed and leaned into Sam.

"You're a little weird, ya know that, kid?"

Sam chuckled and laced his fingers with Dean's. 

"Yeah, but normal is overrated."

"Damn straight."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! It's my first wincest fic and the first thing I've actually finished since July 2014.
> 
> Kudos are motivation and constructive criticism is always welcome, I love improving my writing.
> 
> Come talk to me on [Tumblr](http://www.cultofwerewolves.tumblr.com)


End file.
